1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,047 - Hmm. - Hmm! 2 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:05,918 - Hmm. 3 00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,485 - You ever see this before? 4 00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:09,270 - Dude stuck upside-down in the vent of a condom truck? 5 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,619 No. This is a first. 6 00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:11,837 - Yeah, so I just talked to that girl 7 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:12,838 in the pink dress back there. 8 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,362 She and this guy were in a car, 9 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,277 about to have sex, but they didn't have a condom. 10 00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:18,409 So he saw the truck and tried to climb on top 11 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,542 and it just rolled down the hill until it hit this tree. 12 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,239 - Truck must've had some kind of special protection 13 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:22,979 to prevent an accident. 14 00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,241 [all laughing] - Ha. 15 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,243 - I guess that explains all the rubberneckers. 16 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:27,331 [laughter] 17 00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:28,332 - We need to get this dick out 18 00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:29,986 before he causes more damage. 19 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,466 - This whole thing is really inconceivable. 20 00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:33,207 - Come on, probee, let's quit with the ribbing. 21 00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:34,512 [all chuckle] - I bet you he's, uh... 22 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,514 ♪ 23 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,125 - Come on, man. 24 00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,561 - I bet... - This is all you, Ike. 25 00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,476 - You got it, baby. - Oh, you're waiting for me? 26 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:42,999 I, uh, I don't have one. 27 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,609 - Well, if you try hard enough, it'll come. 28 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,350 [all laugh] 29 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:47,917 - All right. Let's go. Let's bust a nut. 30 00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:48,700 [clang] - Let me out of here! 31 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,311 [loud clang] 32 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,225 [boxes thump] 33 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,227 - This truck just spilled its load. 34 00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:54,576 - I guess that's where the rubbers meet the road. 35 00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,491 [all chuckle] 36 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,710 - Come on! Somebody! 37 00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,364 - Still nothing. - Ike, it's condom puns. 38 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,583 - I'm so sorry, guys. 39 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,759 - Just work. - Uh. I'm gonna... 40 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:04,586 - It's disappointing. 41 00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,109 - [shouts] 42 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,502 - Congratulations! It's a boy! 43 00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:08,633 - [laughs] 44 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,374 - There you go, sir. 45 00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:11,593 - Dust him off. 46 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,334 All right fellas, we got this all wrapped up. 47 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,684 All: Whoa! Hey! 48 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,033 - What? - "Wrapped up." 49 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:17,729 - What do you mean? - Come on. 50 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:18,948 - Come on, guys. 51 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,776 Honestly, I'm ultrasensitive today. 52 00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:21,951 All: Oh! - There's one! 53 00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,170 - That's gotta be one. - One what? 54 00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,519 - I can't tell if he's serious. 55 00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:26,956 - One what? [screaming] Wait, guys! What? 56 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:29,567 [screaming] Guys, what? 57 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,396 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 58 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:37,053 ♪ ♪ 59 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,838 ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 60 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:42,102 ♪ Check it and see ♪ 61 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:45,975 ♪ I've got a fever of 103 ♪ 62 00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:48,238 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 63 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,286 ♪ 64 00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:54,114 - At long last, your party arrives 65 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,724 at the lowest level of the lost mine 66 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,813 of the Androsphinx. 67 00:01:57,856 --> 00:02:00,511 [whispering] The area is eerily quiet. 68 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:03,297 There's a stench of dead creatures all around. 69 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:04,776 You come to a locked wooden door. 70 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,126 What do you do? 71 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,431 - Let's break it down. - Yes. 72 00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,085 - Yeah. Break it down. - What do you use? 73 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:10,652 - [snorts] An ax. - Agreed. 74 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,175 - As you deliberate, 75 00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:14,656 a gas ogre comes bursting through the door 76 00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:17,572 and lets out a grotesque roar. 77 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,313 - Hey! 78 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,444 That squirrel you ran over on Tuesday is still out there. 79 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:21,445 Go clean it up! 80 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:22,881 I didn't run it over, you ran it over. 81 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:23,795 - Don't you throw me under the bus. 82 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:24,883 You ran over it. 83 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,755 You go clean it up. - Oh, man. 84 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,105 Myawani, clean up that squirrel. 85 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,976 - Wait, why do I have to clean up the squirrel? 86 00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:33,414 - In the interest of saving time, dungeon master, 87 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:37,069 I could go out and clean up said squirrel 88 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:40,856 while you prepare for us to murder this gas ogre. 89 00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,118 - That would be wonderful. 90 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,467 - If it pleases dungeon master. 91 00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:46,209 - Thanks, Ike. I will remember that. [laughs] 92 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,776 - Chief, Chief. Terry, Terry, Terry. 93 00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:49,473 Hey, where we going for your daughter's graduation dinner? 94 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,692 - Oh, Bleeder's Steakhouse. 95 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,259 - Really? Bleeder's? - Yeah. 96 00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,912 - Isn't that your favorite restaurant? 97 00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,697 - Yeah, baby. Prime rib. 98 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,351 - Yeah, but it's your daughter's dinner. 99 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,918 I know her first choice isn't Bleeder's. 100 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,616 - Well, I'm paying, so I'm choosing. 101 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,487 - Terry, the name is unappetizing. 102 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,358 - What do you want me to do? 103 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:05,272 The owner's name is Jimmy Bleeder. 104 00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,361 - Yeah, but it's gross. 105 00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,058 - So you want the guy to change the name of his restaurant 106 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,277 to make you more comfortable? 107 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,627 - I am certain you know what I mean. 108 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:13,932 - No, I don't. 109 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,020 The name of the place is Bleeder's. 110 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:16,544 Bleeder's Steakhouse. 111 00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,459 That's where we're going. And I'm paying. 112 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,069 [tires squealing] 113 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,070 Oh, shit. It's the commissioner. 114 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,289 - Why would he come unannounced? 115 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,725 - Okay. I don't know. I don't know. 116 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:30,993 ♪ ♪ 117 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,738 - Hello, Commissioner. 118 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:37,652 - Hello, Dad. 119 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:38,870 ♪ ♪ 120 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,482 - Inside. Office. Now. 121 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:46,443 ♪ 122 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,662 - Uh... 123 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,881 - Sit down. 124 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,100 About a week ago, 125 00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:52,536 a guy broke in to a condom truck. 126 00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:53,320 - Rescued him. 127 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,887 - He's suing the city for 125 mil. 128 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:56,888 - What? Guy was a thief. 129 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,499 - He's not gonna win. 130 00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,543 But here's the thing. 131 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:00,718 When there's a lawsuit, 132 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,155 the incident report goes public. 133 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,071 "Condom truck extrication incident report 134 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,552 "by Edward Penisi, Jr. 135 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,338 "It was a wet and stormy night. 136 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,557 "A raincoat was needed. 137 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:16,778 "Luckily, we came upon 138 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,127 a condom truck." 139 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,347 Blah-blah-blah. "Sticky situation." 140 00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:21,739 Blah-blah-blah. 141 00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:22,958 "Erected a ladder." 142 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:24,133 Blah-blah-blah. 143 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,787 "Penetrated the back door." 144 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,137 Blah. Blah. Blah. 145 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,486 - Boy, that really sings, huh? 146 00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,358 - [laughs sarcastically] 147 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,925 [laughs angrily] 148 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,840 The mayor's up my ass! 149 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,886 Because you're my son 150 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,235 and you're my son-in-law, 151 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,629 and when they read this thing, 152 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:45,241 the TFD is going to look like a bunch of idiots! 153 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,417 - [laughing] I told you a million times 154 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,550 not to screw around on your reports. [laughs] 155 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,594 - You read it, right? 156 00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:51,813 - I did, but I thought it was a joke, 157 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,423 'cause you're always joking. 158 00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,599 - If you thought it was a joke, why did you submit it? 159 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:56,948 Unless you weren't doing your job. [chuckling] 160 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,602 - It's not my job to rein in my captain. 161 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,474 [both laughing] - Enough! 162 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,476 I pulled a bunch of reports from "A" Shift. 163 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,913 They all stink! 164 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,611 Lucy's are actually fantastic, 165 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,831 but Ike Crystal, he writes like a third-grader. 166 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,267 Granville Smith, 167 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,269 guy thinks he's F. Scott Fitzgerald. 168 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:14,836 Andy... 169 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:16,620 [stammering] My--mayor--mywa-- 170 00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:19,319 - Myawani. - He hasn't done his reports 171 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,624 in a month! 172 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:21,930 The punishment: 173 00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:23,627 everyone but Lucy 174 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:26,151 will redo their reports for the last two weeks. 175 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,849 - Oh, come on. All of them? 176 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:28,850 - Yeah. All of them. 177 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,068 - Okay, okay. 178 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,853 Thank you very much, sir. 179 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,768 - I'm not done. 180 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,075 What's this about a graduation dinner tonight? 181 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,251 - Uh...it's happening? 182 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,645 Vicky told me about it this morning. 183 00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:44,039 You didn't invite me. 184 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,693 The grandfather. 185 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,303 - That's weird. I sent out an e-vite. 186 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,609 Did you not get the e-vite? - I did not. 187 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,654 Maybe because I don't know what an e-vite is. 188 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,047 How about an invite? 189 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:54,092 Like in my fucking mailbox 190 00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,659 or in my fucking ear. 191 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,009 - Maybe check your spam folder? 192 00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,837 - Well. I'll be there. 193 00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:01,273 And I'm paying. 194 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,318 No, no, it's my daughter's dinner. 195 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,667 I'm paying. - I'm the patriarch. 196 00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,277 I pay. 197 00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:06,017 - I'm the patriarch of my daughter. 198 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,323 So I'm paying. 199 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,020 - I'm paying. Now get out. 200 00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,326 I gotta make a phone call. 201 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,459 - This is my office. - It was mine first. 202 00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:13,460 [door latches shut] 203 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,983 Why you gotta throw me under the bus? 204 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,593 - You did it first. - I hate it when he's here. 205 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,986 - Will you stick up for yourself? 206 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,553 He neuters you every time. - He didn't neuter me. 207 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,684 - He just kicked you out of your office. 208 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,207 That's a neutering. - No, it's not! 209 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:23,687 - Hey, Terry. I'm gonna go to my office. 210 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:24,775 What are you gonna do? 211 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:25,689 - Fuck you. - Yeah. 212 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,735 ♪ ♪ 213 00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:29,606 - As you open the gas ogre's treasure chest, 214 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:32,392 the party member in the rear of the formation 215 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,218 finds something. 216 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,350 - That's me. I'm in the rear. 217 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,352 - [scoffs] - Yes, Ike the Sweet. 218 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:37,701 And you find... [dice thud] 219 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,181 A Helmet of Telekinesis. 220 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,704 - Oh, sweet! - Oh... 221 00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:41,705 - I see the future, right? 222 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,359 - I guess it pays 223 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,492 to clean up the dungeon master's dead squirrel, huh? 224 00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,145 - Currying favors for the dungeon master 225 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:48,582 is always a good idea. 226 00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,497 - Attention on deck! Commissioner Penisi. 227 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:53,717 - Hi! - Look at this beautiful girl. 228 00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:55,153 - Aw, hi, Gampy. 229 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,633 - That's "Commissioner Gampy" to you. 230 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,505 At ease, men. Sit. 231 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,117 What's this? - Dungeons and Dragons, sir. 232 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,335 - Is it a board game? 233 00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:04,728 - Kind of, yeah. Right. 234 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:05,860 - Funny-looking dice. 235 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,383 Is it a gambling game? 236 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,732 - Oh, no, no, no. Chief banned gambling, so... 237 00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:09,951 - No gambling. 238 00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:12,040 - You banned gambling 239 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,172 in my station? 240 00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:15,739 - It was becoming a problem-- - Terry. 241 00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,175 I'm lifting the ban. 242 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,177 - With all due respect, sir-- - I'm the commissioner. 243 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:22,093 I am unbanning gambling in this station 244 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,095 for the rest of historical time. 245 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,009 Start gambling! 246 00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,230 What are you looking at him for? Now! 247 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,753 - Yeah. - I got 30 on me. 248 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,320 - Hey, place your bets, guys. 249 00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:32,539 - That's fine. - [quietly] I don't know, man. 250 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:33,757 - Happy gambling. - Thank you, sir. 251 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:34,932 - Nice to see you again. 252 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,151 - Okay, you know what? 253 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,195 I hate to rain on your parade, 254 00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:38,545 but per the commish, 255 00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,547 the incident reports are subpar. 256 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:43,071 So everyone except Lucy has to redo their reports 257 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,159 from the last two weeks. 258 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,595 - Whoo-whoo-whoo! 259 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,292 - But Chief, man, I worked my ass off on mine. 260 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:48,642 - Yours read like you're trying to get a book deal. 261 00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:49,947 - [laughs] - I want 'em on my desk today. 262 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,514 - Kay, Chief. 263 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,037 I guess we have to save this game for another day. 264 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,604 - Well, hold on. 265 00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:55,300 Since I don't have anything to do, 266 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,780 I can help with your reports. 267 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,173 - Much obliged. 268 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:01,393 - I guess it does pay to please the dungeon master. 269 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,700 - That's right. And don't you forget it. 270 00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,441 [chuckles] 271 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,748 [laughs] 272 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:10,577 [laughing loudly] 273 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,797 [cackling] 274 00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,799 [cackling maniacally] 275 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,061 Boop. 276 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,196 - Campground's in flames, 277 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,240 and I'm searching RVs. 278 00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,199 They're on fire. 279 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,244 Smoke everywhere. 280 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,115 Well, I ain't leaving. 281 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,551 That's when I hear, 282 00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:30,466 "Help. Help." 283 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,730 It's three little kids. 284 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,471 - He kicked you out of your office. 285 00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:37,429 And yet, here he is in the break room. 286 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,257 Does that piss you off? - Nope. Not at all. 287 00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:42,870 - And that's when I see the propane tank on fire. 288 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,045 ♪ 289 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:46,177 I don't think. 290 00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,875 I jump on those kids, 291 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,267 and boom. 292 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,182 My turnout was eviscerated, 293 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:53,968 my back was opened up to the spine, but... 294 00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,364 I saved those kids. 295 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:01,541 - Wow. 296 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:02,933 Goosebump Olympics over here, right? 297 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:03,978 - No, no. 298 00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,285 I was just doing my job. 299 00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:08,330 - Wow. 300 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:09,636 - It's unbelievable. 301 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:10,854 The fire gets bigger every time. 302 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,988 [grumbles] "My spine. You can see my spine." 303 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,511 - If we could see your spine, you'd be dead. 304 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,078 - Show 'em your medals, Gampy. 305 00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,732 [bell dings] 306 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,734 - Hey, Terry. You're not doing anything. 307 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,474 Why don't you leave your lemonade stand 308 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,520 and grab the beef out of the oven. 309 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,390 [quietly] - Don't do it. 310 00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:27,044 - Yes, sir. 311 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,263 - Big mistake. 312 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,134 - So this is Medal of Valor, 313 00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:31,788 Washington State. 314 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:34,922 National Firefighters Association. 315 00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,968 Firefighter of the Year 1975. - There's no potholders. 316 00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,841 - Presidential Medal of Valor, President Ford. 317 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:41,798 - You have a Presidential Medal of Valor? 318 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,061 - Two, actually. That one's from Reagan. 319 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,497 - Oh, that's hot! 320 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:46,760 Come on! - You okay, Chief? 321 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,545 - Potholders. 322 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:52,330 - Okay--forget-- find a potholder-- 323 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,331 [hissing] - [grunts] 324 00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:54,463 - Careful-- - What? 325 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,465 Whoa! [metal clangs] 326 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,120 - Beef tetra-Penisi. Dig in. 327 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,904 - This is my favorite thing he makes. 328 00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,124 - Hey, uh, what happened to your game? 329 00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,734 - Oh, we have to finish these reports. 330 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,127 Chief says they are due at the end of the day. 331 00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:09,260 - No, they don't have to be done today. 332 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,872 Take your time. Play your game. 333 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,092 Oh! And remember to gamble. 334 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,529 [all laughing] - I love you, Gampy. 335 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,705 - He's so good. - He's like a superhero, right? 336 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,315 - I know, right? - Hey, hey. 337 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,360 I want those reports EOD. - Didn't you hear the commish? 338 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,448 He said that we don't have to do them right away. 339 00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:24,711 - I said EOD. 340 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,843 - Terry, it's lunchtime. Come on. 341 00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:27,888 - EOD! 342 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:28,976 - Okay, okay. - Chief! 343 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:29,977 - Whew... 344 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,067 ♪ 345 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,330 - [imitating trumpet fanfare] 346 00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:36,810 Whence last we played, 347 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,899 Ike had found the Helmet of Telekinesis. 348 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:41,815 but Lucia has also found an item. 349 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:43,991 - Nice! - Hold up, hold up, hold up. 350 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,688 Why is it when people get you things or kiss your ass, 351 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:46,907 they get something? 352 00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,126 That's cheating! - Purely coincidence. 353 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,780 - Well, it don't feel like coincidence. 354 00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,608 - It's just the roll of the dice, Granny. 355 00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,479 Oh, look. I believe it's your turn. 356 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:55,829 - Okay. 357 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,221 I want to search for secret doors. 358 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:59,006 - Yes. - Eh? 359 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,704 - Oh! Unfortunately, a grick was hiding in the corner 360 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,575 and attacked Grandolph, 361 00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:04,838 killing him instantly. 362 00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,491 [laughs] - That's bullshit, man! 363 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,406 You're corrupt! - No! Bye! 364 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,234 Here's a little advice. 365 00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:11,845 Lucy is one level away from a resurrection spell. 366 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,760 Maybe if you finish my reports... 367 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,937 I can speed that up. [laughs] 368 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,373 - That's kind of an abuse of power. 369 00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,157 - Kinda is. - That's an abuse of power? 370 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:21,463 - Kinda, I mean... - Ike! 371 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,204 I would love 372 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:26,294 a Le Pew sparkling water. 373 00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:28,035 - No, I'm not gonna-- 374 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:28,862 you're two feet away from the-- don't, don't! 375 00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,211 Don't! Don't touch my card. 376 00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:31,386 I'm going, okay? 377 00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:32,343 Stop! Don't touch it. 378 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:35,651 ♪ ♪ 379 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,174 - Hey, Junior! 380 00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,959 Junior, come here, come here, come here. 381 00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,831 Look what I found hiding in Terry's closet. 382 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,181 That's every Penisi ever stationed here. 383 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,705 That's me, of course. - Yeah. 384 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,315 - Your grandpa, Giuseppe. 385 00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,534 That's Mario before him, 386 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,188 Luigi, 387 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,668 his dad, Geppetto, 388 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:56,672 and your great-great-great- great-grandpa, Bosco. 389 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,848 - Good looking bunch of guys. - They're all right. 390 00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:00,720 You know, you were conceived on this desk. 391 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:02,199 - No, Dad, I didn't know that. 392 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,811 - It was your mom's idea, may she rest in peace. 393 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,029 You ever have sex on this desk? 394 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,596 - Yeah, I did. Recently, actually. 395 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,598 Good height. - Right? 396 00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,165 - Yeah. - Yeah, you see? 397 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,036 That's why you should be chief. 398 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,908 - Come on. - Terry... 399 00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:17,084 he would never have sex on this desk. 400 00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:18,607 - Well, he's married to your daughter, my sister. 401 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:19,608 - You know what I mean. 402 00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,001 I mean, Terry's soft. 403 00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,959 You're more of a chief than he is. 404 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:24,700 - Okay. - You're smarter than him. 405 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:25,788 - Yeah. - You're funnier. 406 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,050 - Yes. - You're better-looking. 407 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,835 You're more charming. - Definitely. 408 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:32,447 - You have the heart of a chief, son. 409 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,579 I see greatness in you. 410 00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:35,798 - You do? - Someday... 411 00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:39,236 This will be yours. 412 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,281 ♪ 413 00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:42,196 - My precious... 414 00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,719 - He's been disrespecting me since day one. 415 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,286 Remember at our wedding 416 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,027 when he got rid of the chicken alternative I suggested 417 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,506 because he wanted everyone to eat beef? 418 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:49,812 - It's a generational thing. 419 00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,901 He calls chicken "girl meat." 420 00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:52,554 - People like options at weddings. 421 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:53,555 - He doesn't. 422 00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:54,948 And he was paying. 423 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:55,949 - That's a whole other thing. 424 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:57,341 The paying. I'm sick of it. 425 00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:59,256 - He is a grandpa. 426 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,128 It makes him feel like he's still running the house. 427 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,607 It's not like he kicked you out of your office 428 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:03,739 or anything. 429 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,306 - Okay. I gotta go. Love you. 430 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:09,963 ♪ ♪ 431 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,008 - Hey, Granny. How are my reports going? 432 00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:14,706 - I'm making progress. 433 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,012 - Oh, cool, cool. Heh. 434 00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:19,015 Let me see what you got. 435 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,322 It's a little wordy. 436 00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,411 It doesn't really sound like me, but... 437 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,195 maybe you can take another whack at it? 438 00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:26,457 - [imitating Andy] "Maybe you can do it yourself. 439 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:27,110 Huh. Neh. Heh." 440 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,070 - Maybe I could. 441 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,333 But maybe Grandolph's resurrection 442 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:34,683 hits a couple of unforeseen speed bumps. 443 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,598 [chuckles] 444 00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,426 I'm just kidding. 445 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,732 I'm sure the resurrection will be fine. 446 00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:42,560 But just do a good job, okay? 447 00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,084 [chuckles] 448 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:44,911 Okay? 449 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,129 - [quietly] Okay. 450 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,217 - You can say it like me, if you want. 451 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:48,566 Mm-kay? 452 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:51,308 Huh. You don't want to imitate me now? 453 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:52,179 That's strange. 454 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,878 - Mm-kay? - Okay! 455 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,358 - Not "okay." 456 00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,230 Mm-kay. 457 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,276 ♪ ♪ 458 00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:04,452 - I found these jammed in your closet. 459 00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:07,324 That Durabran girl is hot! 460 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,892 And the "wake up your wife" thing, 461 00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:10,937 it's hysterical! - [chuckles] 462 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,982 I always thought it was funny. 463 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,766 - By the way, your life would be a lot easier 464 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:17,595 if Eddie, Jr. wasn't there to undermine you all the time. 465 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:18,945 You think the crew respects you 466 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,208 when he tells fat jokes to your face? 467 00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:22,513 No. 468 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,602 And did you know he screws on your desk? 469 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,169 - Screws what? Women? 470 00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:28,128 - No, no. He screws furniture together. 471 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:29,607 Yes, women! - Who did he screw? 472 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:30,870 - He wouldn't say. 473 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,697 But talk about insubordination. 474 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,569 - God. I don't believe it. 475 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,049 - He's disgusting! 476 00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:38,834 But you, I see greatness in you. 477 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,228 You can be commissioner someday... 478 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,491 if Eddie, Jr. doesn't drag you down with him. 479 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:44,405 And about the bill tonight? 480 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,495 You can pay. - I can? 481 00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:49,062 - Absolutely. - Thanks, Commissioner. 482 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:50,672 - Call me "Dad." 483 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:52,717 - [laughing] Okay! Dad. 484 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,154 [laughs] 485 00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,069 Great. - See you tonight, son. 486 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,592 [laughing] - That's great. 487 00:14:57,635 --> 00:15:01,030 [menacing music] 488 00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:02,640 - 'Sup, my nerds. Guess what? 489 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,164 I finished your reports. 490 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,340 - Your timing is excellent, Granny, 491 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,212 because Lucia has reached level five. 492 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,954 - And I would like to resurrect Grandolph. 493 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:14,304 - Oh, yes, and thank you. 494 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,218 [both laugh] 495 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,003 - This spell will consume a diamond 496 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,222 worth 500 gold pieces. 497 00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:21,007 - I have such a diamond, Dungeon Master. 498 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,661 [angelic choir sings] 499 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,750 - I submit this diamond for Grandolph's life. 500 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,578 - Grandolph's soul... 501 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:28,797 ♪ ♪ 502 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,842 Can you hear me? 503 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:33,889 - [high-pitched voice] Yes...I...can... 504 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,413 - Are you willing to rejoin your body? 505 00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:39,677 - [high-pitched voice] Yes, Dungeon Master... 506 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,202 - Grandolph's wounds close. 507 00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:42,985 He lives! 508 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:43,986 - [gasps] Yeah! 509 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,814 - Oh, baby! 510 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:46,902 - Do a dance of joy. 511 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,991 [chuckling] 512 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,123 - Come again? 513 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,907 - Entertain me with a dance. 514 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:52,952 - Just get it over with. 515 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,216 - [laughs] Yes, yes. 516 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,392 Ellen hands, please, Ellen hands. 517 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,002 More Ellen. 518 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,221 Yes, Granny. Push the fruit. 519 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:03,571 Ah, yes, yes. Push that fruit away. 520 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,269 Bountiful harvest. There's too much fruit. 521 00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:07,879 Push it away. - That's really weird, man. 522 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,751 - Push the fruit! [cackles] 523 00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,883 - Dear God. Mercy. 524 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,015 - Playing Doorbells and Dingleberries? 525 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,712 - Oh! [stammering] 526 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,279 No, it's, uh-- 527 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:17,454 it's Dungeons and Dragons, sir. 528 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:18,716 - Did you bet on it? - Oh, no. 529 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,110 Still no gambling here. - God damn it! 530 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,591 I said gamble! That's what firefighters do! 531 00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:24,853 We gamble! 532 00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:25,810 And if you're not gambling, 533 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,247 then you're not playing! 534 00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:28,509 - Hey, what's going on in here? 535 00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:31,294 - I have never seen a softer group 536 00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:32,165 in my life! 537 00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:33,818 This is on you two. 538 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,996 The captain and the chief of the pussies. 539 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,347 - We need to talk. 540 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,610 ♪ 541 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,612 I want you to go in that office and tell your father to leave. 542 00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:45,743 If you want him out of your office, 543 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,919 you tell him, Chief. 544 00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:48,833 - You're afraid. - I'm afraid? 545 00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:50,922 You're soft. And by the way? 546 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:51,793 I'd be a better chief than you. 547 00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:53,012 I have the heart of a chief. 548 00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,230 - You're the one dragging me down. 549 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,710 - Ha! You're the chief of the pussies. 550 00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,538 Also, if you want to pay for dinner, 551 00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:58,626 you just pay. 552 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,149 - I am. 553 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,759 I told him, and he agreed. - Oh. 554 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,152 But that shouldn't matter to you 555 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,240 because you're not invited anymore. 556 00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,328 - [laughing] Oh. 557 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,895 You're disinviting me? - Yeah. 558 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:09,158 Well, you be very careful right now, Terry McConky, 559 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,246 'cause I'll make you regret that. 560 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,856 - I regret inviting you in the first place. 561 00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:16,296 ♪ ♪ 562 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:21,083 - Happy eighth grade graduation. 563 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,998 When your mother was in the eighth grade, 564 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:25,566 we didn't celebrate eighth grade graduation. 565 00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,133 Didn't have cell phones, either. 566 00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:28,525 But these days, 567 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:31,224 everybody's gotta have a trophy. 568 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,921 Am I right? - Hey. 569 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,575 We're ready to order. - Oh, wonderful. 570 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,098 - Looks like we arrived just in time. 571 00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:37,534 - What are you doing here? I disinvited you. 572 00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,014 - Yeah. Vicky re-invited me. 573 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:40,233 - How could you disinvite him? 574 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,799 This is a family dinner 575 00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,366 Vicky also told me I could bring a date. 576 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:44,802 So this is Penny. 577 00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:47,022 Penny is a professional competitive eater. 578 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,111 - Oh, like the hot dog guys? 579 00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,940 - Yeah. She eats massive amounts of food professionally. 580 00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,246 And she's in training. 581 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,117 - Nice to meet you all. - Nice to meet you. 582 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,727 - Hey, Penny. 583 00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:58,555 - Oh, thank you. 584 00:17:58,599 --> 00:17:59,948 Professional eater. [chuckles] 585 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,168 That's great. - I'm starving. 586 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,169 - Dig in. 587 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,518 - Ok--my bread. 588 00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:05,823 [Penny chewing noisily] 589 00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:06,955 Okay. That's my water. 590 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:07,912 [chuckles] 591 00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,740 Maybe we could get her-- uh. 592 00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,177 [chuckles] 593 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:13,701 - All right, why don't we start with the young lady? 594 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,355 - I will start... 595 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,747 [affected Italian accent] With the fried "calamar" 596 00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,749 and raviole al spinaci. 597 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:21,622 And each of my girls will have a "spaghett" Bolognese. 598 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,624 - I'll also have the fried "calamar," 599 00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:25,582 followed by the veal "scallopeen" 600 00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:27,758 and a personal pizza alla "pepperone." 601 00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,282 - I'll start with the "prosciut," 602 00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,980 then I'll have the spaghettini alla quattro formaggio, 603 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:32,981 al dente. 604 00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,722 - For me, a bufala "moo-zarell" 605 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:36,811 followed by a stringozzi puttanesca 606 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,813 with a side of risotto Parmigiano. 607 00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,989 Ooh, let's get some gabagool for the table, hmm? 608 00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:42,860 Gabagool? Gabagool? - Yeah. 609 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:44,645 - Gabagool galore. - [sighs] 610 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,081 - The young lady? - To start, 611 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,952 I'll have the left side of the menu... 612 00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,215 - Yeah. - And for the main course, 613 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,607 I'll have the right side. - Wonderful. 614 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:51,782 - How about for you, sir? 615 00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:52,914 - I will just have the prime rib. 616 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,004 And some more bread. - Okay. 617 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:57,440 - And another water. 618 00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:58,876 - Hey, thanks for picking up the check. 619 00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:00,400 I'll have a Dewar's Platinum. 620 00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,749 - Want to make it a double? - Make it a double. 621 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:02,924 Great idea. 622 00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,969 ♪ ♪ 623 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,668 - The Dungeon Master grows impatient! 624 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:08,886 - [whispering] He's nuts! 625 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,061 - [hushed] We've gotta take him down. 626 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,324 - Just having this conversation right now 627 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,629 could get our characters killed! 628 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,675 - Have you found a sub for Lucy yet? 629 00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:16,981 - Not yet, Dungeon Master! 630 00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:19,680 - I know. 631 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,116 Oh, I got it. 632 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,552 - What--don't-- [buzzer sounding] 633 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,467 - [singing in boops] 634 00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:25,686 Hey, there he is. 635 00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,122 - How goes it? 636 00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:28,471 - Cool, cool. Good to see you, Tolthar. 637 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:29,820 [chuckles] You look awesome. 638 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,082 - I know. 639 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,084 - Tolthar, Granny. Granny, Tolthar. 640 00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:34,347 Oh, Tolthar was with me the night that 641 00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:35,696 that girl turned me into a werewolf. 642 00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,437 - Super Blue Blood Moon. 643 00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,221 Was a weird night. - That was a weird one. 644 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,483 - I woke up naked next to a Wookie. 645 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,616 - What? - Not a real Wookie. 646 00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,008 A cosplay. - Aw. 647 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,271 Still crazy. Over here. 648 00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:46,924 - Yeah. - Okay. 649 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,448 That's your thing, huh? 650 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:49,536 - Well, it was that night. 651 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,146 ♪ ♪ 652 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,496 - Andy, you remember my buddy, Tolthar. 653 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,019 - Oh, yeah. 654 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,586 So they got you to replace Lucy. 655 00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,022 I didn't realize you played DandD. 656 00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,720 - I dabble. - [laughs] Aw, man. 657 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,504 I'll try not to kill you too quickly. 658 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:03,593 - Oh, okay. Thanks. 659 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,422 - [chewing noisily] - So there's Terry and Junior, 660 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,903 and they're walking with the firefighters 661 00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:10,861 in the St. Patrick's Day parade, 662 00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,516 drunk as monkeys. 663 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,257 So drunk, they don't realize they're now walking 664 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:16,954 with a high school marching band. 665 00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:20,523 These two, they just keep on marching. 666 00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:21,829 - Hey, sweetheart. 667 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,265 When the check's ready, bring it to me. 668 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,614 - Hey, Dad, Dad, Dad. You said I could pay. 669 00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:25,963 - I'm changing it up a little. 670 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,095 And I'm not your dad. 671 00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:29,184 ♪ ♪ 672 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,404 - You enter and see the Androsphinx from behind. 673 00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:32,883 It spins, surprising you. 674 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,276 Now, claw attack. 675 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,321 [dice clatter] 676 00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:36,322 And it kills you all. 677 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:37,323 - Dead? - See? 678 00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:38,324 - We just started! 679 00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:39,673 - Nice playing with you guys. 680 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,414 Nice seeing you again. 681 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,894 - Um, if we saw the Androsphinx from behind, 682 00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:45,331 how did it surprise us? 683 00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:46,680 - It spun quickly? 684 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,944 - But if a player catches a monster from behind, 685 00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:51,946 we would get the first attack. 686 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:54,253 You've read "The Dungeon Master's Guide," yes? 687 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,124 - Yes. I've read it. 688 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,082 Fine. You get first attack. 689 00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:00,694 Androsphinx is basically invincible, 690 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,217 so...go for it. 691 00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,567 - Okay. I cast a time stop spell. 692 00:21:04,654 --> 00:21:06,439 And then I use Nolzur's Marvelous Pigments 693 00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:07,918 to paint a lake around the Androsphinx 694 00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,006 in which it drowns. 695 00:21:09,093 --> 00:21:10,791 - Nice! - [imitates explosion] 696 00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:12,314 - The Androsphinx can't swim. 697 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,011 It's dead, bitch. - Fish food, bitch. 698 00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:15,361 [laughing] - Yeah! 699 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:17,319 - Anyway, enjoy splitting that treasure. 700 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,886 [Granny and Ike laughing] 701 00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:20,888 - Oh, and lose my number, you fucking nerds. 702 00:21:20,975 --> 00:21:21,932 - All right, man. 703 00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:22,933 - Unless you do this again, 704 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:24,413 because I really do enjoy DandD. 705 00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:25,980 - Good to see you, Tolthar! - Likewise. 706 00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:27,590 - He's so good at DandD. - He really is. 707 00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:29,940 - You're a dick, Andy! - You're a real dick! 708 00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:31,551 - What I can't figure out is 709 00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:34,554 how you're able to stand up without a backbone. 710 00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:36,730 - Can you step in here? - I've had a lifetime of this. 711 00:21:36,817 --> 00:21:38,384 He'll make his point soon enough. 712 00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:39,733 - Hey, Vick. 713 00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:41,343 Did you know that Terry 714 00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:43,127 let me kick him out of his office 715 00:21:43,214 --> 00:21:44,477 without putting up a fight? 716 00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:46,174 - I'm sure he had his reasons. 717 00:21:46,261 --> 00:21:47,480 - Oh, I'll tell you his reasons. 718 00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:48,785 No balls. 719 00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:50,047 Well, he's got a ball. 720 00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:51,919 One ball. He's got a ball, 721 00:21:52,006 --> 00:21:53,268 Eddie, Jr.'s got a ball. 722 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,617 Between them, they got a pair of balls. 723 00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:56,402 Together: Enough! - [gulps] 724 00:21:56,489 --> 00:21:57,620 - Harry lost that nut saving my life. 725 00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:58,969 - And Eddie lost his nut 726 00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:00,057 the second time I saved his life. 727 00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,145 - [gasps] - Terry's a great chief. 728 00:22:01,232 --> 00:22:02,712 There's no one I'd rather report to. 729 00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:04,584 - And Eddie's a great captain. His crew loves him. 730 00:22:04,671 --> 00:22:06,194 And there's no one I'd rather be in the trenches with. 731 00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:11,199 - You know, when I showed up at work today, 732 00:22:11,286 --> 00:22:14,071 I saw a chief and a captain 733 00:22:14,158 --> 00:22:16,030 who loved to throw each other under the bus, 734 00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:17,597 neither acting like a leader. 735 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,686 So I devised a plan... 736 00:22:19,729 --> 00:22:22,210 - [choking silently] - To make me your common enemy, 737 00:22:22,297 --> 00:22:23,864 hoping that you'd band together, 738 00:22:23,951 --> 00:22:25,996 and look what happened. 739 00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:27,433 You're acting like a team. 740 00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:29,173 Looks like I did my job again. 741 00:22:29,217 --> 00:22:31,437 You're supporting each other. 742 00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:32,960 You'll be better men, now. 743 00:22:33,047 --> 00:22:34,265 You're welcome. 744 00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:35,092 - [chokes] [bone whooshes] 745 00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:37,486 - Oh! [both gasp] 746 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,183 - Wanna get out of here? - I thought you'd never ask. 747 00:22:39,227 --> 00:22:40,533 - You got room for a hot dog? 748 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,012 - As long as I soak it in water. 749 00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:42,883 [both laugh] - That's gross. 750 00:22:42,970 --> 00:22:44,188 - What is happening? 751 00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:45,886 - Two things. 752 00:22:46,016 --> 00:22:48,323 You're paying for dinner. 753 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,281 And I'm Eddie Penisi. 754 00:22:50,325 --> 00:22:52,327 - ♪ Eddie Senior! 755 00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:53,459 - [together] Son of a bitch. 756 00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,025 - I'll just leave this here. Take your time. 757 00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:56,026 - Oh. 758 00:22:58,115 --> 00:22:59,247 Wanna split it? - Nope. 759 00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:04,992 ♪ 760 00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:07,255 - The fog takes the form 761 00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,910 of a female nothic. 762 00:23:09,997 --> 00:23:13,043 [high-pitched voice] You may ask one question of me, 763 00:23:13,087 --> 00:23:16,482 and one question only! 764 00:23:16,612 --> 00:23:18,484 - Hey, I've got a question. 765 00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:19,702 When can I play with you guys again? 766 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,661 - Did you wash my car? Did you do her laundry? 767 00:23:21,791 --> 00:23:23,837 Did you shine his shoes? - Yes. 768 00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:25,447 - Why don't you start on our station tasks? 769 00:23:25,491 --> 00:23:26,840 Is that cool with you, Cap? 770 00:23:26,883 --> 00:23:28,885 - Yeah, you know, I'll defer to the chief on this one, 771 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:30,017 since he's in charge of this house. 772 00:23:30,147 --> 00:23:31,497 - This is Cap's shift. 773 00:23:31,627 --> 00:23:33,499 I defer to him, and I support his decision. 774 00:23:33,586 --> 00:23:35,718 - No, sir, please. You decide. 775 00:23:35,762 --> 00:23:37,981 - No. Whatever's cool with him is cool with me. 776 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:39,505 - Okay. 777 00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:40,897 Then Andy can do everyone's tasks. 778 00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:43,291 - [laughs loudly] 779 00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:45,075 - I really like our new synergy. 780 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,207 - The station really hums when we support each other. 781 00:23:46,294 --> 00:23:47,861 - Doesn't it? - Yeah. 782 00:23:47,948 --> 00:23:49,079 Speaking of humming... 783 00:23:49,166 --> 00:23:50,820 did you have sex on my desk? 784 00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:53,040 - In light of our new, honest relationship, 785 00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:54,389 yes, I did. 786 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,304 - Son of a bitch, Eddie. 787 00:23:56,347 --> 00:23:57,523 That's sacred ground in there. 788 00:23:57,610 --> 00:23:58,828 You don't have sex on the chief's desk. 789 00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,656 - Somebody's got to do it. - Who was it? 790 00:24:00,743 --> 00:24:01,744 - You know I don't kiss and tell. 791 00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:03,180 - Was it that woman from Animal Control? 792 00:24:03,311 --> 00:24:05,139 - That was in your car. I really should call her. 793 00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:06,532 - Angela the ambulance driver. 794 00:24:06,575 --> 00:24:07,533 - That was on your couch at Christmastime. 795 00:24:07,663 --> 00:24:08,534 I should call her, too. 796 00:24:08,664 --> 00:24:09,970 - Patty from the tax office. 797 00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:11,885 - That was in your garage on St. Paddy's Day. 798 00:24:11,972 --> 00:24:12,973 Ha! I'm not calling her. 799 00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:14,496 - Who was it? - I'm not telling. 800 00:24:14,627 --> 00:24:15,454 - Tell me. - I'm not telling. 801 00:24:15,541 --> 00:24:17,630 - This relationship is over! 802 00:24:17,673 --> 00:24:19,762 - Ask me if I care. 803 00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:21,155 - You don't care about anything but yourself. 804 00:24:21,285 --> 00:24:22,330 - I don't care about shit. 805 00:24:22,417 --> 00:24:23,636 - That's exactly what I'm talking about! 806 00:24:23,766 --> 00:24:24,637 - I like it when things go back to normal. 807 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,465 It feels like all is right in the world. 808 00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:28,336 Oh! Critical hit! 809 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:29,685 - You're gonna wash my desk! 810 00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:31,470 - Andy, go wash Chief's desk. Now.